Damn Right I will!
by feich
Summary: Takes place 6 years in the future. Based on Bleach Preview Episode 273.


**Just a little thought, from watching the preview for Bleach 273 (anime). And yes, it was an Omake.  
**

**

* * *

**

Damn Right I will

"Kurosaki Ichigo." A stern but not so elegant voice said behind Ichigo.

Ichigo sighed, "What do you want By-"

He was cut off when a blue arrow whizzed by his head narrowly missing it.

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU? AND WHY THE HELL ARE YOU SHOOTING THOSE DAMN THINGS?" Ichigo screamed while pointing at Ishida Ryuken.

"There is no concern for me name, and you will perish for spilling Quincy blood on hollow soil!" Ryuken shouted as he fired off more and more arrows.

Ichigo ducked under one, side stepped one, jumped, did a duck, and roll, and all sorts of safety maneuvers. Except all of them were futile under the impregnable might of Ishida Ryuken. The white haired Quincy that blew up his own hospital in anger at Kurosaki Isshin. (If you didn't know about this, watch the japanese version and go to episode 273 preview.)

"When did I agree to do this?" Ichigo shouted as he tried in futile and miraculously dodged them all in his _human_ form.

"Your father agreed to do this!" Ryuken shouted as he still fired more arrows at Ichigo.

Just then out of nowhere, Asano Keigo ran to Ichigo shouting his name. However he got caught in the crossfire.

Ichigo ran as fast as his human legs could take him, away from the dreaded and vengeful Quincy and the corpse that had several dozen holes punched into it.

"Phew!" Ichigo sighed a breath of relief when he was sure he got away.

Ichigo took a step and... A long sword came down crashing right in front of him. Ichigo screamed in fright and backed off.

"Kenpachi! What are you doing here! Are you trying to kill me?" Ichigo questioned.

"ICHIGO! REMATCH NOW!" Zaraki Kenpachi shouted while grinning like a savage maniac that had a single thing on his mind. He maim his goal. And his goal was none other then Kurosaki Ichigo.

"WAAAAH!" Ichigo screamed as he avoided each of Kenpachi's attacks. And each time he avoided, a cloud of dirt would appear and rocks/pebbles would rip up his shirt.

It so happened while he was sprinting around in Karakura Town, the only civil personal that has appeared so far was Keigo. And the only help he was, is the fact that he took up a couple arrows.

"Stand still Ichigo and fight like a real shinigami!"

"I'm not even in my shinigami form!" Ichigo screamed as he ran for his life.

They ran for a couple of miles, until Ichigo turned around... And he sees Grimmjow Jeagerjaques running towards him.

"Meow!"

First of all. When did Grimmjow get here.

Second of all. Where the hell did Kenpachi go.

Third of all. WHEN THE HELL DID GRIMMJOW SAW MEOW?

Ichigo did a face plant to himself, managing to dodge all of Grimmjow's attack. Ichigo stood up and began on another sprint. While he ran, giant blue claws kept missing his head, followed by an imponderable "Meow."

Eventually getting tired of the ridiculous "Meow." Ichigo turned around and shouted/asked.

"WHY THE HELL ARE YOU SAYING MEOW?"

"Because you ass hurt _ is making me Meow!"

"What was that word in the middle?"

"Didn't you hear me you dumb shit? I said _"

"What?" Ichigo was getting confused, how could he not hear that single word.

"Forget it! MEOW!" Grimmjow said and threw darts at Ichigo. He closed his eyes so he couldn't witness his own gory execution at the hands of the blue haired former Espada growling out Meow. Except they never came.

After a few seconds, Ichigo reopened his eyes, and he sees Kuchiki Byakuya staring at him with Senbonzakura drawn.

"Stand still, _kozo_ or you will lose more then three limbs."

"WAH! Are you insane, Byakuya, what makes you think I'll stand here and let you cut me apart?"

"I will not repeat myself." Byakuya said as he made a swipe at Ichigo's privates. (Hint. Hint.)

Ichigo jumped up and barely avoided it. Just then however, he got kicked in the ribs by none other then Kurotsuchi Mayuri. He flashed his yellow teeth sadistic grin at Ichigo. Then he faced Byakuya, and they both nodded at each other.

"The experiment begins! And you get the honor of cutting him open!"

Byakuya held his sword up in a vertical position right over the groin region.

Ichigo tried to scream, but found himself gagged by leather and he was completely bound. His eyes widened as the blade came plunging down. Somehow the gag had come off, and he screamed the guts out of everyone.

* * *

Ichigo's bedroom.

"UWAAAH!" Ichigo screamed as he sat up in bed. He breathed heavily, sweating, and somehow someone woke up to his side.

"Ichigo, what are you doing?" Rukia asked as she rubbed her eyes with her hands, yawning.

"Nothing."

"Then why did you scream."

"I wanted to."

Rukia having nothing else to say, just repeatedly hit Ichigo upside the head.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Give me a real reason for waking up your pregnant wife?"

"Nightmare." Ichigo said slyly as he glared away from her.

"Then get back to sleep! _Baka_!"

* * *

**A/N**

**Now this is my first try in Humor.**

**kozo=boy**

**Baka=idiot  
**


End file.
